I received contact from the prosecutor, and I went to his office.
Thankfully, the meeting was started from 6 pm after finished my work
He said, the criminal finally admitted that the motive for the attack was for sexual purpose.
That means I don’t need to attend the trial!
I was so relieved.
Because the trial system was Citizen Judge System.
I actually really did not want to talk about in front of many strangers.
The prosecutor said the lawyer pursued the criminal to admit the motive to not to put more burden to the victim.
It was so grateful.
Yes she is my side.
Even though she is a lawyer, she can understand deeply about the victims and can act for them.
Because the criminal admitted the motive, the investigation at the prosecution completed quickly.
What should I do was only wait for the trail.
So I decided to write a letter to the criminal.
I don’t mean to forgive him.
I just wanted to let him know that
What you sow is what you get.
So prepare for the hell.
Face what you did and reform yourself.
If you don’t love yourself, do thing that you will be able to love.
Do not attack people, try to be loved by people.
The contents was like above.
Maybe this is just for self-satisfaction and hypocrisy.
The criminal might not understand anything about what I want to say.
Write or not.
I asked myself again and again.
It’s insane to write a letter to the man who attacked me.
My people might think so.
But I wanted to let him know that “what you sow is what you get”.
You choose to attack woman at midnight.
The victims had the most scary night in their life because of you.
So same amount of hell that you gave to the victims is waiting for you in the future.
I just wanted him to know it.
I finally wrote the letter and gave it to the lawyer.
The female lawyer called me immediately.
She was so polite to me.
“I deeply apologize you for this matter. ”
She was like the criminal’s family or something.
“His parents are saying that they really want to meet you and apologize to you.”
I said “No.”
I really don’t think they need to say sorry to me.
Because I thought if I saw them, I might pity them, and I thought that the parent responsibility for the man who is over 20 years old is questionable.
And the lawyer said, she wants to give me a letter written by the criminal.
So I decided to meet her.
The day I will meet the lawyer,
I searched the lawyer’s office in my town.
And I realized that there are pretty many lawyer office in my town.
I did not know it because my life was not related to this world until just before.
My first impression for her was not special at all, she was ordinary lady, might be younger than me.
She was so polite to me and seemed sympathizing me from the bottom of her heart.
She said that she is afraid of the criminal’s resentment by being in charge of this case
And she also said emotionally that she feels anger against her office for why she was nominated as the criminals lawyer.
She was full of human warmth.
I have opened my heart to the lawyer naturally.
We talked about the payment and I said that I leave everything to you.
The average payment for the sexual crime is about 200,000 yen.
I get the price from Google.
If I got that amount payment, I thought I will be able to feel better.
At the last, she gave the letter to me saying,
“I know that you feel sick having the letter. After you read it you can throw it away.”
I read the letter at the office.
The letter was written by letters like a child, and the contents was too formal apology that nobody would not use normally.
I thought the criminal was made to write the letter by the lawyer using some templates.
I was sure that the criminal has not felt sorry like this letter at all.
The man will do same thing after got out from a jail.
I felt so.
My name will be disclosed to the criminal.
I might become a target of the criminal’s revenge someday.
The other two victims also suing the criminal.
One of them is same as my case of crime but only my case the man still denying the motive.
That means I have the key.
If I attended the trail, his revenge target would be me.
But, that’s why, I have to do that.
I gotta let the man go down.
The crime was escalating in a short period of time
The man will do same thing if the prison term was short.
Then the man may make a new victim over and over.
The victim might be hurt more.
I gotta do this.
I am the oldest of the 3 victims.
By some fatality, this became my role.
So I should do this.
My feeling was like that.
I got the disgusting letter and set the date of payment.
And I left the lawyer’s office.
I met the counsel for the prosecution for the first time in my life.
His looks was extraordinary.
His appearance was like an evil rather than a man for justice.
Skinhead (bold) and sharp-eyed, tall and macho.
He was more like a Japanese Yakuza than the counsel for the prosecution.
His age is about 50.
He looks like yakuza but so polite to me.
“The man the criminal haven’t felt bad about what he did to you. He haven’t took it seriously. That kind of man will do some things after coming out from a prison. So I have to put him in prison as long as I could. Since he still has denied the motive, you and the witness woman also might need to attend the trial. I will support you as much as I can. So let’s prepare and do the best for it together.”
The witness woman also seem to be heard by the prosecutors.
Accidently she was just there the day and the time.
I think that I am making her big trouble.
I have decided to thank her face to face after the trial completed.
At the trial, the witness will be hidden by a partition. So that the criminal cannot see the witness.
My name will be disclosed to the criminal, but the face and address is never be disclosed.
It’s very scary to let him know my name but in Japanese low, it is necessary.
The meeting with the prosecutor has begun.
I had to explain what did at police, again.
It has been several months, so my memory was unclear.
I felt bad when I had to explain about how the criminal touched me.
I didn’t get used to it.
I had to explain the details like how or how many or where.
I know I should but feel bad is feel bad.
I didn’t enjoy it at all.
People might think like “Grow up. How old are you?”.
But the age doesn’t matter.
The teenager, 20th, 30th doesn’t matter.
Everybody feels bad.
The shock when you touched the private part without any permission is absolutely shocking thing.
Instinctively shocking thing I think.
But I have to share the memory with the others.
I felt so uneasy to do it.
I didn’t want to share it with my female friends too.
I couldn’t tell all to my family either.
The prosecutors said,
“The criminal’s lawyer is saying that she wants to meet you. Can I tell your phone number to her? Might be she needs to talk about the payment for pain and suffering. You have a legal right to get the payment and also sue the criminal.”
Get the payment and also sue the criminal.
I didn’t know that a victim can do the both.
I thought when I got money was only when I settled.
In the case of sexual crime, the most of victims are settled without the suing.
But I am not the one of them.
If I can get the payment, I get it and also sue the criminal.
Give the double punishments to the criminal.
That sounds a great idea. I thought.
I said to the prosecutor.
“I understand. You can tell her my number.”
The first meeting with the prosecutor took about 2 hours.
「犯人の男、反省なんかしとらんな ナメとる。ああゆう奴は出所して再犯するタイプだ。 出来るだけ長く入ってもらわんといかん。犯人が動機を否認したままなので、あなたや目撃者の方にも裁判に出てもらう事になると思います。全力でサポートしますので、覚悟決めて頑張りましょう」
Because the man denied the motives as sexual purpose, police wanted to collect more effective evidences for the trial before sending to the Public Prosecutor’s Office.
Police said that I and the woman driver also might need to attend the trial if the criminal didn’t admit as sexual purpose until the trial day.
The criminal’s DNA and the DNA from my clothing have already matched so, it can prove that the criminal actually touched me the day.
However, if the criminal said like he touched by accident, the evidence will lose the effects.
We need more effective evidences to prove that the man did despicable crime objectively.
“Objectively” is the point.
In addition to the testimony of the parties, the testimony of the doctor who saw the state of injury or the witness who passed the street on the day becomes a very effective evidences.
The witness of woman was very helpful and she said that she doesn’t mind to attend the trial as the witness.
In addition to the testimony, we needed the medical certificates.
So I went to the hospital which I was diagnosed as Cervical sprain to ask the doctor to write the medical certificates.
As I said earlier, I said to the doctor, I got injured by bicycle accident.
Because I didn’t think that the criminal would be arrested and also the medical fee would be out of insurance coverage.
So I told truth to the doctor and asked for the medical certificates.
And he said,
“I can write the certificate but, I diagnosed you only once and you haven’t come back since the day. So I can only write it as Neck injury one week to complete cure. ”
Actually, my neck was sore for 2 weeks.
I have a sharp headache sometimes.
My elbow is still sore when it touches something.
I explained the situation to the doctor and ask him to write the certificate as 2 weeks to cure.
But the doctor said,
“I diagnosed you only once and you haven’t come back since the day. X-ray result was no problem. So I cannot change my diagnostic contents by believing what you said about your situation now.”
I know that he is right as doctor.
But he could say little more cared.
He must be dealing with people who try to trick something or get something with wrong medical certificates every day.
But I am not the kind of people.
I just had to proof what happened the day.
As the result, I treated that doctor so coldly.
What was this?
I was about to cry but I really needed the medical certificates, so begged him.
He wrote [ 1 week to cure ] medical certificates.
The certificates cost 5000 yen.
I cried on the way home.
I wasn’t sad, I was mortified, and angry.
I couldn’t control my anger.
I am using such a time, energy and money to just drop the criminal into hell.
I am so frustrated and exhausted.
How many times should I cry?
To sue a man is so tough thing.
I might not overcome with not just any fighting spirit.
I have to stand up for myself and overcome by myself.
If you become a victim.
Please say the truth to a doctor to not to cry like me in the future.
This is the man who attacked you.
Police showed me a picture of the man.
There was a young man who has no special feature but not positive impression on the picture.
The man may has no big happiness, no fame, no money, no talent.
That’s why he did such a thing, I thought.
But the criminal had a wife.
No kids, fortunately.
But they must have just got married.
He is still young.
The man left his wife at the middle of the night and wore the mask and attacked a woman.
The wife also like a victim.
According to the police, the man attacked 3 women including me.
The first was teenager, the second was 20th.
Both of them filed the damage reports to police.
The man was surfaced and marked as a suspect as the investigation progressed by the police.
It seems that the content of the man's crime was escalated as he followed the round.
And police continued,
“Actually for only your case, the man has denied the motives as sexual purposes.”
What do you mean?
“The man attacked you but he said when he saw you, he lost the urge.”
Lost the urge????
What does is mean?
I will KILL the man.
I definitely kill the man.
“I guess he chickened out. Because the man has been charged with previous 2 cases already. Because the weight of punishment will change if it is just a wound or a compulsive indecent wound.”
“The man screwing around with us. We should make him falling down to Hell. Let’s do it.”
“Yes, Sir!!!!!” I answered.
There was no weak victim anymore.
I DO NOT forgive the man.
What kind of man can say “lost the urge” to a woman?
Who do you think you are??
I will make him down.
I have decided.
The day, anger turned into a power.
A few month later, my wound of the day has been healed and getting used to the new life.
I got a phone call from police.
“We identified a man who seems to be the criminal. We have not yet arrested, but when we heard from the man, he admitted that he attacked you at the part that day.”
That was unexpected thing to me.
They found the man.
Japanese police do such a great job!!
“The man lives in A city.”
It was the next city.
Even the man lives in the next city, the man came to attack woman at the middle of the night.
The deciding factor to identify the criminal was the image of monitor camera at convenience store.
The day, the man was at the store that is on the big street near the park.
The man parked his car at the store and when he found a woman riding a bicycle alone, followed her.
After a while, the man backed to the store.
The camera shows me riding a bicycle alone and the man followed me.
The man was spreading a net at the store.
The prior woman was inconvenient for the man.
The man failed to attach her and back to the store.
Then I passed through the store alone, and went to the park.
It was a premeditated crime.
Now I remember.
There was a car that follows me so slowly.
When l looked back the car, the car passes me through and went to the park.
The masked man was in the car……!!!
And the man parked the car at the park.
And the man had been hiding and précising the timing to attack me.
I got more scared that there is a man who attacks women like that.
“When we arrested the man, we gotta ask you to cooperate with us for the trial.”
What I need to do for the trial…
Police found the man….
Unexpected developments made me unstable again and I had a nightmare the night.
I had to go to the police station 3 times after the day.
Every time I went, I had to remind what happened the day.
At the night, I became unstable.
Changes after the day;
- have to check the keys have really locked
- night became scary
- strangers on the street became scary
- have a nightmare a lot
I was at my parents’ house.
But I was getting annoyed by them.
It was just normal conversation to them but it annoyed me.
I had no space to care about them.
I also lost my boyfriend on the day.
I trusted him and he was my best friend also.
But after the day, my trust for him disappeared.
We broke up on LINE
He wanted to meet me for the last.
But I refused.
It was the biggest revenge I could do to him.
On the day, my body and heart also got bruised.
My heart got bruised by heart break too.
It was secret love but it was love to me.
I got so worn out.
And did not want to stay with somebody.
I just wanted to be alone.
Did not want to pretend I am OK, or did not want to be worried.
Just want to be alone.
I decided to move out.
One month later, I moved out from my parents’ home.
I was so relieved that I don’t have to pretend anymore.
I had people who cares and understands me but nobody truly can cure my feelings instead of me.
I have to stand up by myself with bruised body and heart.