the day I met the lawyer
The female lawyer called me immediately.
She was so polite to me.
She said,
“I deeply apologize you for this matter. ”
She was like the criminal’s family or something.
“His parents are saying that they really want to meet you and apologize to you.”
I said “No.”
I really don’t think they need to say sorry to me.
Because I thought if I saw them, I might pity them, and I thought that the parent responsibility for the man who is over 20 years old is questionable.
And the lawyer said, she wants to give me a letter written by the criminal.
So I decided to meet her.
The day I will meet the lawyer,
I searched the lawyer’s office in my town.
And I realized that there are pretty many lawyer office in my town.
I did not know it because my life was not related to this world until just before.
My first impression for her was not special at all, she was ordinary lady, might be younger than me.
She was so polite to me and seemed sympathizing me from the bottom of her heart.
She said that she is afraid of the criminal’s resentment by being in charge of this case
And she also said emotionally that she feels anger against her office for why she was nominated as the criminals lawyer.
She was full of human warmth.
I have opened my heart to the lawyer naturally.
We talked about the payment and I said that I leave everything to you.
The average payment for the sexual crime is about 200,000 yen.
I get the price from Google.
If I got that amount payment, I thought I will be able to feel better.
At the last, she gave the letter to me saying,
“I know that you feel sick having the letter. After you read it you can throw it away.”
I read the letter at the office.
The letter was written by letters like a child, and the contents was too formal apology that nobody would not use normally.
I thought the criminal was made to write the letter by the lawyer using some templates.
I was sure that the criminal has not felt sorry like this letter at all.
The man will do same thing after got out from a jail.
I felt so.
My name will be disclosed to the criminal.
I might become a target of the criminal’s revenge someday.
The other two victims also suing the criminal.
One of them is same as my case of crime but only my case the man still denying the motive.
That means I have the key.
If I attended the trail, his revenge target would be me.
But, that’s why, I have to do that.
I gotta let the man go down.
The crime was escalating in a short period of time
The man will do same thing if the prison term was short.
Then the man may make a new victim over and over.
The victim might be hurt more.
I gotta do this.
I am the oldest of the 3 victims.
By some fatality, this became my role.
So I should do this.
My feeling was like that.
I got the disgusting letter and set the date of payment.
And I left the lawyer’s office.
弁護士から早速電話が来た
女性の弁護士だ
ものすごく低姿勢な印象だった
この度は大変ご迷惑をおかけしまして、申し訳ありません
まるで犯人の身内か何かのような物言いだ
犯人の両親が私に会ってお詫びしたいと言っているので、是非とも会って頂きたい
と言う
犯人の両親に会う必要は無いと思った
その親に同情してしまうと思ったし、２０歳過ぎた男の犯行に親の責任は問えないと思ったからだ
すると弁護士は犯人から手紙を預かったのでそれを渡したいと言った
私は弁護士と会うことにした
弁護士との初対面の日が来た
Googleで弁護士事務所を検索し、私の市に結構あるんだと気付いた
今まで裁判と無関係な人生だったから気付かなかったな
その弁護士の印象は、普通の何処にでも居そうな地味な女性という感じ、私より歳が若いか
物腰がとても柔らかく、
心の底から被害者の私に同情している風だった
彼女自身にも娘がおり、この事件の担当になった事で犯人から逆恨みされるのが怖い
被告人に会ったが、ものすごく気持ち悪い印象で、反省している様にも見えない
なぜ、私がこんな事件の担当弁護士に指名されたのか、事務所に対して恨む気持ちすらある、と感情的に言った
とても人情味溢れる対応だ
私はすっかりその弁護士に心を開いていた
慰謝料の話になり、金額はお任せということになった
相場は20万くらいだとネットに載っていた
そのくらい貰えれば、少しは気が晴れるかなと思った
弁護士は最後に私に犯人が書いた手紙を渡した
「こんな手紙渡されても気持ち悪いですよね。読んだら捨ててもらっても構いませんので。」
私は受け取り、その場で読んだ
普段使わないような堅苦しいお詫びの文章を、子供のような字で書いてあった
きっとこの弁護士に言われて、何かのテンプレートを参考にして書いたんだろう
犯人が自分で書いた内容は一つも書いていないという印象だ
こいつは反省などしていない
出てきたら必ずまたやる
そう感じた
訴える事で私の本名が犯人に明かされる
逆恨みされるかもしれない
一緒に訴えている他の2人の被害者のうち、1人は私と同じ、強制わいせつ致傷だが、
犯人は私だけ動機を否認している
要はカギを握っているのは私なのだ
裁判に出て証言する事になれば、犯人が1番恨むのは私になるだろう
でも、だからこそ
ヤツをこの手でぶち込んでやる
犯行はエスカレートしてきていた
しかも短期間でめまぐるしく
短い刑期で出てきたら、またやる
新たな被害者が出る
その人はきっともっと酷い目に遭うだろう
私がやらないといけない
被害者の中で最年長だし、なんの因果か私にお鉢が回ってきたのだ
だから私が頑張んなきゃ…
やるしかない、そんな気持ちだった
その気持ち悪い手紙を受け取り、慰謝料を受け取る日を決め、
弁護士との初面談を終えた
