People’s reaction

“Sorry”

That was what my boyfriend arrived and said to me at the scene 30 minutes later after the phone call.
He found me in the police car, and said so.

You should say “Are you ok?” before “Sorry” in this case. I thought.
What is “Sorry” for ?

“Why did you use the street around the park at such a time! I cannot say that to your father!”

My mother said to me on the phone in the morning.

“You were careless.”

My father said so.

“You are really lucky. Nothing really happened.”

One of my friend said so.

When I said about the incident to my people,
people’s reaction were various.

Most of the reactions made me disappointed and think like I should not have said that.

However, T, one of my friends’ reaction really warmed me.

I found that She sounds sad from the bottom of her heart.

She also has the experience as a victim in the past.

Not the exact same crime like I had, but the sexual crime.

She really listened me sincerely.
Her listening attitude really saved me a lot.

“I was attacked by a stranger. But a car passes through the street and saved me safe, so it didn’t become such a serious incident.”

What happened me was above, if I describe simply.
I did not get a serious injury. I was lucky.
It’s true.

But the damage I had from the day was bigger than I thought.
I was getting confused.

I have not organized my feeling yet, but I had to digest my feelings yet.

Because the serious injury was “Nothing”.

I was saying to myself.

At the investigation at police station, I said to the female police officer,

“I was just touched over my clothing. It’s like there is nothing happened.”

And the female officer said loudly,

“What are you saying? You had a such scary day! Of cause there is huge injury!”

I was relieved.
Yes I had a scary night.
I got injured.

I was not comfortable to be treated as a victim, but I was not comfortable to be treated like there is nothing happened.

People who stayed with my heart were very few, but not zero.

They really helped me.

I really appreciated for that.

Cautions when you see a doctor

After I came back home and scolded by my parents,
I went to the emergency medical center to take careful inspections.

At the reception, I said to the receptionist

“I was attacked by a phantom slasher last night and I got injured.”

Then the receptionist said unexpected thing.

ME “I was attacked last night and I got injured.”
SHE “Did you go to police station?”
ME “Yes”
SHE “In that case, it will be out of insurance application. ”
ME “Excuse me?”
SHE “For the injury you got from the other, you cannot use normal health insurance coverage.”

That was surprising true.
But in Japan it is crucial true.
So I have to pay 100% medical fee now.
I started to hate the world for a moment, but try to come down and said to her,

“Can you just pretend like you didn’t hear what I said? I just hit my body by the bicycle accident. So I want the inspections.”

Then the receptionist reluctantly accepted me.

“Right elbow injury. Right head bruised. 1 or 2 weeks to complete cure.”

It was not that serious injury. The result of X-ray test was also no problem.
I was released a little and went back home.

Next morning, I woke up with big neck pain.
I cannot bend my neck anyway.

Because it got worse as time passed

I went an orthopedic hospital that also has a rehabilitation facility on Monday.

I already learned about the insurance, I lied as “bicycle accident”, and had the inspections.

The doctor diagnosed “Cervical sprain” it will take 1 week to complete cure.

My body’s pain got better but that time I haven’t realized that I will be regret later that having inspected with lying.

If you became a victim, please say the truth when you see a doctor

Only the medical certificate can certify what happened and how much you injured objectively.

Unfortunately the medical certificate is more effective than the testimony.
Because it is a document certifying the damage objectively

The content of the medical certificate will have a great effect at the trial

When you said the truth at the hospital and you paid the medical fee fully.
You also can get the fee back from the government or the criminal when they are arrested later.

If you became a victim, please say the truth when you see a doctor
Otherwise you may get hurt like me later.

An police car arrived the scene

An police car arrived the scene.

I and the woman driver were questioned by police officer in the police car.

The police officers are total 3.
The male police officers are sitting at the front.
And female officer was sitting the back.

They might have the manual for sexual crime interview.
I was thankful for the existence of the female officer.
I was little relieved.

These officers attitude to me was so soft considered.

Once they understood what happened to me and my injury level, they said that they want to have an on-the-scene investigation with me.

The head part that hit on the ground was not bleeding, but getting swollen unbelievably.
So I really wanted to go to the hospital right now.
But the police judged my injury was not the emergency level.

If they judged so, I should follow them.
I accepted the on-the-scene investigation on the day.

I explained the details of what happened.
Then the officers recreate the situation at the scene and took a picture of it.
Sometimes I (the victim) had to pointed out the scene and taken by a camera.
It was quite disgusting.

Also I was surprised by my unclear memory.
The masked man figure or what he did

1. I resisted, but the man touched my private part
2.The mask was like a pro wrestler design, background is black and eyes and mouth were fringed by red line.

I didn’t remember the details such as which hand, how long, how tall, from what side….e.t.c.

Because I couldn’t answer clearly, the police officer seemed to suspected that I am hiding something.

Perhaps, there are many of the sexual crime victims cannot or do not answer what really happened.

“the man touched my private part”

Even the contents above, it was not easy to tell to the people who I don’t really know even they are police officers.

The fear of touched by a stranger without a permission was unbearable.

I am not pretending like I am a pure girl for sure, I was simply so scared.
Without any question, it was the most scared day in my life.

After the on-the-scene investigation, the female police officer passed me some equipment and said,

“Perhaps, I can get the masked man’s DNA from your clothes, so press this equipment against your clothing which the man touched?”

I pressed the equipment against my private part between legs over the clothing.

She said me to do over and over.

So I did, over and over.

Somehow I felt so miserable myself, and I could not hold my tears.

It was morning when the all investigations were finished.

110

I called 110 and while explaining the situation to the operator,
I realized one car is coming.
I cannot see the driver’s face due to the headlamp.
The car slowly stopped in front of me.
But the driver doesn’t get off the car.
I cannot see the face.

Suddenly I thought.
The masked man came back!

I said to the operator at the police,

“Please come here right now! Some strange car is stopping here! Maybe it’s him!
Please come soon!”

I tried to run away with the bicycle.
But I was not functioning at all.
I couldn’t rise the bicycle. Shit
I have to run away.
I was dragging the bicycle with looking at the car, calling to police.

Then the driver got off the car and said

“Are you all right!? Come and get on my car!”

Wo, Woman’s voice!!!!

She said that she was the driver who passed through me just before.
Because when she found me on the ground, there was a car behind her, so she thought she should go into the intersection and turned back.
She also said that she also called police in the car.

I got on her car and waited for police to come.

Perhaps, the masked man ran away because he saw her car is coming?
If so, she is my life saver.

If the car didn’t come?
If I lost my consciousness when the masked man knocked me down?
If I didn’t scream?
What would have happened to me?

I was trying very hard to functioning myself but couldn’t stop crying and shaking.

I had been thinking that I was more strong woman.
But l was out of control because I just had the thing.

It was impossible to chase him and catch him like a brave woman in a movie.

I was just panicking, crying and shaking like a child.

I was just a weak woman.
Just a weak woman in front of the real crime.

The day I quit an affiar

It was the 3rd winter with him.
He was my boss.
We both liked drinking and eating good food.
After he became my boss, we naturally became man and woman.

It was the first time for me to go out with a man who has a family.
I worn out at the beginning but got used to it after a year.
Even after I changed my job, the relationship didn’t end.

However, the thing cannot stay the same forever.
The change also happened to our relationship.
He was transferred to country side office.
The reason was not the affair.
His subordinate failed and he had to take responsibility as boss.
He didn’t take family there.

But he didn’t divorce his wife and he said to me.

“Come visit me.”

I have realized our relationship is just temporary.
No future relationships.
I didn’t have a gut to break a family.
But also I was not satisfied with our relationship.
I have been struggling for 3 years.

I didn’t necessarily avoid to become a bride.
I wanted to get married someday.
I tried to meet a single guy.
I tried to break up with him several times.

But I was fun and comfy with him because he knows well.

I was forced myself to satisfy with the temporary relationships.
But I stated to like him seriously.
I thought he also felt the same.
He doesn’t divorce because the children are still little.
That is all.
He doesn’t love the wife anymore.
He loves me the best.
I thought so, and he actually said so.

However, that was fucking WRONG.
I realized FINALLY.

It was the first time to call him at the middle of night without notice.
When I call him, I always send a text to check that he is available.
I didn’t wanna break a family.
That’s an important manner.

BUT, the day I was panicking.
So I called him who I trust the most.

I just wanted to talk.
That was all.

LINE messages:
He “I can’t talk right now”
Me ” I was attacked”
He ”by who?”
Me “I don’t know, a man at the park”
He “What do you mean?”

Several messages he sent but no calling.

At this point, I realized that THIS MAN is SHIT.

If he does love me, he calls back right away. I am saying “I was attacked.”
I have never called without notice.
He knows that I was almost sober when we separated.
He knows I was not drunk.
He knows something really happened to me.
But He didn’t call.

This man doesn’t come to help me.
This man doesn’t have a time to spend for me.
This man doesn’t answer my sudden calls.
This man doesn’t answer even I am experiencing my worst day.

This is the moment that “He” who I trusted the most changed to “This man”.

I stopped texting him via LINE, and called emergency number 110.

the day I became a victim 2

It's too late for regrets.
We don’t know what or when something will happen.

My mother often told me because I was drinking until midnight.
“Make sure to back home by cab. At night, middle age woman like you ( I am 36) also can be attacked. OK?”

She was right.
I should have waited for a cab.
But it’s too late for regrets.

Around a park is usually dark, so a crime occurs easily.
Everybody knows that.
But it’s useless common sense to me anymore, I was already attacked.
Now I am attacked.

I freaked out for my situation but I screamed as loud as I could.

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Then the man suddenly stood up and run into the park

“what happened?”

I was looking at the man who taking no notice of my bag on the ground and running away at the top of his speed.
I thought,

“This attacking purpose was not the money. REALLY”

I kept screaming even after the man already ran away.
I was in shock and panicking.

After few minutes, I realized that two cars are coming towards screaming me.

“HELP! HELP!”
I shouted crying.

The cars stopped for a while but drove away…
UNBELIEBABLE!

My panicking is still goes on.
Moreover, I was in despair by the devil car driver.
So I decided to call my boyfriend who just got home 30 minutes ago.

Call,
no answer
Call again,
no answer

Then I got a LINE message from him.

“I can’t talk right now”

He has a wife who sleeping beside him.
Yes I was having an affair with the man.

The day I became a victim

It was Friday on early December, I was drinking with my work colleagues.
Even after we went 2 pubs, I still wanted to drink.
So I went a bar that my boyfriend had been drinking.

I ordered just one cocktail and after that I just drunk water, then we had pasta to call it a night.
I became almost sober.

Around 2 am, we asked the bartender for a cab, but it was party season, he said we have to wait one hour.

“What we gonna do?”

I asked and my boyfriend answered,

“I came here by bicycle, so we can go back together by walk to my house. And you can ride my bicycle to your home. ”

The positional relation between our houses and the bar is as follows.

The bar to my boyfriend house : 20 min by walk
My boyfriend house to my house : 30 min by walk

It’s pretty far and I have never tried to go back home my bicycle.
But it is not impossible if I tried hard, I thought.
So I accepted his idea.

I totally sobered when we arrived at his home.
So I headed to my home by riding the bicycle.
I turned to the narrow street along the big park to shortcut.
The street around the park is dark but I was not feeling scared.
Maybe alcohol made me little more brave than the usual.

His bicycle is colored blue and while.
It’s like the mountain bike style and so loud design.
I was excited by riding the bicycle for the first time in a while and I was bathing in the afterglow of the fun night.

Along the street, the trees are planted like to surround the park so I cannot see the inside of the park.
The street lights are there but very few.

And when I came to the point where the street tree are not plated space, I finally realized that a man who was covered with masks jumped towards me swiftly.

And the next moment, my body was slammed against the ground hardly.
I got a sharp pain and impact on the right part of my head and elbow
My head made some weird noise.

A MASKED MAN KNOCKED DOWN MY BICYCLE INTENTIONALLY !!!!!!!!!!!

The man rides on my body to stop my motion.
While resisting under the man, I kept screaming

How long have I been doing that…
I felt like a minute or 30 minutes…

Then the man roughly touched my private part between legs over my clothes.

“THE END.”

The words recur to me.
I finally understood what he wants.

At the same time, I finally realized that
It’s 2 am, a dark and narrow street, nobody around….

The situation was more serious than I thought.